Struggling with Infertility Grief? You’re Not Alone

If you’ve dreamed your whole life of carrying a child, it’s devastating to be told that you may not or will not be able to experience it. Fertility grief is a real and painful part of reproductive mental health, and many people don’t realize how isolating it can feel until it happens to them. 

At Mind and Body Medicine, LLC, we want you to know you are not alone. Tamara McDonald, DNP, is always here to provide you with the kind of care that will allow you to navigate infertility grief and see the light on the other side, whatever that may look like. 

Infertility affects people from all different backgrounds, countries, socioeconomic statuses, ethnicities, and sexual orientations. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention states around 13% of women in the United States live with impaired fecundity. Of course, this can vary widely in terms of what it means for the ability to bear children.

Some people are able to conceive successfully with medical care, and some are not. Fertility treatments, while having come a long way, can offer a low chance of helping certain conditions. These treatments can also be expensive, which may mean they could benefit your situation, but you might not be able to afford the ones you need.

Finally, conceiving and losing a child is a silent problem that isn’t discussed as much as it should be. But when one in four pregnancies ends in miscarriage, it’s not only common but important to mention in a discussion about infertility and mental health. 

Whether you’re still attempting to conceive or you have decided not to pursue infertility treatment, just being told that conception won’t be easy for you can be shattering. In many ways, this is like the process of experiencing grief, and that’s why we treat it as such.

Many women don’t discuss their feelings of grief after finding out they can’t conceive. The shame and stigma society places around women who don’t have children only intensifies the pain felt during this time, and so many infertile women avoid discussing their experiences. But all this does is isolate you more. 

The experience is real. You are grieving the life you imagined for yourself, which can feel impossible to navigate, especially early on. At Mind and Body Medicine, we understand the severity of this kind of grief and know the pain must be dealt with slowly, deliberately, and with kindness to oneself like you would with any loss. 

First, remembering that infertility is common can help you feel more like discussing your experience. Chances are that you know someone who either struggled to conceive or found out they couldn’t. Talking to this person can help. If you absolutely don’t know anyone, there are many support groups, websites, and other places where you can find people who understand. 

In addition, seeking mental health treatment is invaluable to your well-being. Our Boise, ID, office offers talk therapy tailored to your needs. Feelings of anxiety and depression can be managed, as well as self-esteem issues that often crop up as a result of infertility diagnoses. With our care, you will always receive consideration and a sympathetic ear.

Finally, as you’re supported through your infertility grief, remember there are so many options available to you. You can still grow your family or find other kinds of fulfillment. No matter what, you are a person worthy of a beautiful life, and even as you work through these feelings of grief, you can begin to imagine a life that makes you happy — whatever that may look like. 

While navigating a diagnosis like this can be difficult, you will come out the other side. Remember, you are a person worthy of an exciting and fulfilling life, and with help and support, you will start to feel like yourself again.

Call us at 208-591-6410 or visit us online to schedule an appointment. We’re always here to support our patients through the good and the bad. If this is what you’re looking for, why not start today?